I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
