Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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