I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
