Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize