so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
