I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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