it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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