I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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