it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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