She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
