i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
