We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i wish my penis had a tongue
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
