Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
