don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
