I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
