Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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