Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
