Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
