fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize