The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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