Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
