Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
