The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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