Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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