People in love make me want to vomit
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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