I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
