That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
