I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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