mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i used baking grease as lip gloss
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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