And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
She's the barista slut.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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