hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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