xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
