hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
