I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
