Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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