Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
