So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
