I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
