My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize