If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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