ya dads aren't the best wingmen
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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