i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
