so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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