David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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