So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
