I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
