don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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