think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
worst night to have a conscience
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
