We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
