I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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