STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
