Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
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