is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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