No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
