never play flip cup with pint glasses
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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