this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize